Today I celebrate 30 pounds down in 2 months.  The first 20 of this was pretty gosh darn easy.  This last 10 (heck, the last 2 lbs) were the hardest.  I wish I could say that this was my stopping point but it is not.  Still gotta keep on trucking.

It is interesting to see how much the mind and body changes with each pound.  I started going back to the gym with my beautiful exercise specialist/personal trainer fiancee three months ago.  My goal for an entire month was just to walk into the gym.  I figured that since I was there I should probably do something.  What did I do?  I walked on the treadmill for 30 minutes to an hour at usually around 3.2 mph.  Everything else in my life remained the same except that I would go to the gym and just do something.  I wasn’t weighing myself – I have no clue if any weight was lost during this month.  Then on June 28th the diet began!

Like the majority of the people out there, I am not one of those people that actually likes going to the gym.  Everything about it either annoys, scares, or just bothers me in some sort of way.  Adding my own insecurities on top of that just makes it worse.  It isn’t the gym, the one I go to I think is pretty nice – nothing fancy, appears to be clean, equipment is always available (if you go in the morning), nice enough staff.  The problem is me and my mind.

Today was a bit different.  Today my fiancee and I did our normal Tuesday/Friday strength training.  Today I went for it as always but I was also had something I read yesterday on Bodybuilding.com in my mind, “The iron never lies.”  (Yes, it is also a Henry Rollins lyric.)

“A barbell loaded with 250 pounds is always going to be 250 pounds no matter how you feel…Your bad attitude won’t change the fact that the bar still weighs 250 pounds.  Don’t look to blame your inability to perform on something or someone else.  Lifting weights is simple:  You focus all your energy on moving an implement from point A to point B.”  – Noah Siegel

While I am doing one thing my mind is usually doing 25 other things.  It is usually trying to tell me to quit, that I am lifting too heavy, that I am going to injure myself, that I look stupid, or something else that is trying to make me feel bad.  My mind wants me to think of other things other than just moving this object from one position to another.  Today, during the chest press, I just moved the dumbbells from one position to another.  The only thing that I could currently judge my strength, endurance, and determination at that moment was only the iron.  This mindset did not last the entire workout, but it did pop up every once in a while and it felt good.  Got to remember to strength train the mind as well.

Also today while I was leaving the gym, I felt pretty good.  I felt like one of the “healthy people”.  I know that one is not supposed to categorize people, but I have always felt like one of the unhealthy people.  I am still not one of the “fit people” or “fast people” but I will be soon.

I know sometimes that people that are losing weight cannot actually see the weight they lost on themselves.  I am not one of those people.  I can see that some of my areas are smaller and some are on their way (hello stomach, you can join in on this smaller party sooner than later).  Today I am wearing a shirt that I haven’t been able to comfortably wear for over a year.

Even with seeing that areas are smaller it is hard to fathom that 30 pounds is gone from my body.  We buy 30 pounds of dog food every couple of weeks, that bag is heavy!  Then that gets me thinking about why I even put on all this weight to begin with.  Then thinking about that makes me sad.

I was hoping that with less weight my knees would be in less pain.  Unfortunately this is not the case.  The more active I am the more my knees hate me.  I have two new knee braces making their way to me at this moment.  I find that when my knees are super stabilized that they hurt less.

Yes, I am super proud of myself today.  I am very determined to get this weight off (in a healthy way of course).  Still have a lot more to accomplish.


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