Gym Anxiety

When I moved to the other side of town to live with my partner, now fiancee, I was a bit stressed about getting out of my normal routine.  The most stressful part about it was that I would be getting up earlier to drive further to work.  With my job on the complete other side of town, I was losing almost two hours per day from my normal schedule.

My normal schedule had me getting up around 5:30, spending about an hour at the gym (which was only about 7 minutes from my door), coming home, getting ready for work, and eating breakfast.  I soon discovered that part of my two hours that were now being taken up by driving included gym time.  I tried switching gyms to something close to work.  That gym was decent but only had one shower.  That worked okay for a minute until the day that someone was hogging that bathroom and I had to wait which caused me to be late for work.

A Planet Fitness finally opened close to the house.  I was excited because 1. it was close to the house and 2. the price was right.  I did not grow up with sports or going to the gym.  Going to the gym is still horribly awkward for me.  I never feel comfortable there.  I was honestly scared of the locker room.  Seriously.  Did people walk around nekkid?  Would I be a weirdo if I didn’t?  How in the world am I supposed to cram all the stuff I need for entire day into one bag?  What do I need for an entire day?  Are there locker room rules that I am unaware of?  I’m known to think the worst in all situations.  A new gym, a locker room, changing in public gave me a lot to worry about.

Over time my anxiety about the whole thing has calmed down a little bit.  I still don’t feel comfortable at the gym.  Am I sweating too much?  My music is loud, is it too loud, can other people here it?  Is my butt cheeks squeaking?  Am I breathing too loud?  Is that guy next to me looking at my treadmill screen?  Yea, it is never ending at times.

Along with my love of the gym comes my love of packing my gym bag.  *sarcasm*  I honestly hate packing my gym bag every night.  I’m not the type of person that plans my outfit the day before, having to plan two outfits (gym and work) is a bit too much.  I panic slightly each night before zipping it up.  Again, the questions start.  What did you forget?  Did you get all your towels?  You forgot something important.  Remember when you forgot your bra and your shower shoes?!

I need a system.  I think I have a pretty good system so far.  Certain items get folded a certain way and placed in particular parts of the bag.  Shoes go over here, immediate gym needs (ear buds, knee bands, sweat towel) go over here.

If need to carry something extra for one particular day, another item will be forgotten.  It happens.  I have come to accept this about myself.  Need to bring a belt?  Good, you will forget your water bottle.  Need to bring socks and shoes?  Fine, you will forget cap you wear when you workout to stop flooding your face with sweat.

Back in June I started going to just go.  I just needed to get myself in the door.  I didn’t have to do anything awesome past that point.

July was a different story.  July I had to sweat.  I had to be working towards something.  So far so good.  It is a struggle but I am going to make this happen.


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